


How to: Get A Free Car

by aireyv



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Alanis Morissette - Freeform, Gen, Highway robbery, Hitchhiking, Liquid genuinely having fun for once, The Middle East
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 06:09:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12359163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aireyv/pseuds/aireyv
Summary: "Anything about Liquid's past - preferably between TPP and MGS1 (could be something about his time in SAS or during the Gulf War, for example), but pre-TPP is fine too. Dark/psychological stuff is welcome - that man definitely has a lot of unresolved issues, haha. Or, surprise me with the opposite of that - it could be something with Liquid genuinely having fun for once."Just so happened I had something old lying around that fit this prompt. Post-Gulf War, pre-FOXHOUND; Liquid is a broke mercenary who needs a ride.





	How to: Get A Free Car

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stubborn Cobra](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Stubborn+Cobra).



> Don't mind that this is so short... and as said, old... seriously, this was one of my #MGS Offscreen scraps. (*´_ゝ｀)  
> I hope someone else fills your prompt...

“Where to?”

“As far as you’re going, as long as it’s in the general direction of the Jordanian border.”

An hour later, there was nothing around but desert as far as the eye could see. Liquid was leaning his head on his hand, not sleeping, just resting his eyes. The air conditioning in the car was a godsend after standing around in the heat all day…

“Do you have any money?” the driver said abruptly, clearly trying to sound casual about it but not being very successful.

“Just a couple pounds,” Liquid yawned. “I can chip in a bit for gas if you like.”

“Hm.”

The car stopped with a jerk. Liquid opened one eye, annoyed.

“Is there a _reason_ why we’re-“

The driver pulled out a gun and pointed it at Liquid. “Hand it over,” he said, “everything. Every pound you have on you, and all your luggage.” He bore his teeth in an unpleasant half-smirk, half-scowl. “If you do as you’re told nicely, I’ll let you keep your water bottle.”

Liquid gave him an unimpressed look.

“Am I being _robbed?_ ” he said.

“Are you daft?” The driver narrowed his eyes and jerked his gun slightly up. “Hands where I can see them, now.”

“Think I might raise a fuss?” Liquid said lightly, raising his hands.

“I don’t want to have to kill you. Get out of the car. Go on.”

As long as he had the gun pointed at him, it was best to do as he was asked. Liquid stepped out of the car, keeping a close eye on the driver. The driver was keeping a close eye on him in turn, never glancing away even as he also exited the car. He must do this a lot.

“It figures that the only person who’d give me a ride would be a thief,” Liquid drawled.

“Empty your pockets.”

Slowly Liquid lowered his hands, eyes never leaving the driver. Then he shifted his gaze slightly to the right of him, away from the car, and said, “Ah.”

Oldest fucking trick in the _book_.

The driver glanced to his left, wondering what it was Liquid was “ah”-ing at, and in that split second of distraction, Liquid struck. Before the driver could even react he had a blood-filled mouth and his own gun in Liquid’s hands, pointed at him.

“Sorry,” Liquid said, grinning and stepping back, “must have just been me.”

The driver stared at him with wide eyes, clutching the lower half of his face. However many people he’d stolen from and abandoned in the desert, this was evidently the first time any one of them had grabbed his weapon and turned the situation around. Completely.

“Toss me the car keys,” Liquid said.

“Wh… what?”

“Are _you_ daft? I said, toss me the car keys. You’ll be the one wandering the desert today, I’m afraid.”

The driver hesitated, then pulled the car keys out of his pocket and underhanded them to Liquid. Liquid caught them in his free hand without looking away from him.

“I’ll give you a thirty second head start,” he said.

The driver wasted four of his thirty seconds staring at Liquid before finally grasping that his gun would be fired at the end of that time, and he took off sprinting in the opposite direction. Liquid watched him run, smirking, resting his foot on the fender, his elbow on his knee, and his chin in his hand.

He got bored after twenty seconds, and figured he was close enough to the end of his generously supplied grace period. He leapt over the hood of the car and caught up with the fleeing driver in less than six seconds.

“AAAAAAAAAAH!! OH GOD-“

The crack of the gun echoed throughout the desert.

A silencer might be a good idea for that gun, but it was a real piece of garbage compared the one Liquid already had on him, so he abandoned it to the sand and hummed to himself as he went through the dead man’s pockets.

“ _It’s like ra~in on your wedding day_ ,” he sang under his breath as he leafed through the scavenged billfold - honestly, the guy had more money on him than Liquid did, what was he doing robbing people? - “ _it’s a free ride when you’ve already paid…_ ” He couldn’t remember the rest of the lyrics.


End file.
